I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
