Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
