Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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