last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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