new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
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