Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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