bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I have aggressive nipples.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
