I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
