No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
The air was thick with penises
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
