did you get engaged???
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
