Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
there is puke in my bra ... again
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
