I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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