there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
