You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
