Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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