So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
