do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
