small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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