these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
