i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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