your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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