she kept yelling 'call me bella'
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
