at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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