I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
