God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
