can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
he quoted the bible to break up with me
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
What a dumb baby whore.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Also, beer. Big fan.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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