I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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