Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Randomize
