I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
