no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
