i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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