My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
he fucked my hip out of place.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
