i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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