I will die if light touches me.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
