you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
