so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
