love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
