You just made me feel so damn special
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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