I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
