yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
