you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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