turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
