Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
