dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
