At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
