summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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