OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
