Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
