This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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