I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
