Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
