Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
