I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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